NOTE

"Every artwork which has been made by me is strictly copyrighted."

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Friday, January 28, 2011

A passion...

Was there something that you dreamed of doing or being but never had the guts to do so? I believe everyone has that sort of feeling once in a while or maybe all the time. Eventually, what happens to those dreams? Do they just fade or do they stir regret within you? 


There's just so many things I wished I could do or could have done but time was the main thing holding me back. Sometimes I wished I had all the time and support to do what I've been wanting to do that would just make my day or perhaps my life. Most people don't know much about me. I mean they do know me but they don't know what I'm really thinking and the ideas I have and what I want to do. Those who spend most of their time with me would probably know me and they would know that I'm a little loose in the head...lol.


One of the things I would really love love love to do is write. Since I was young, writing has always been a part of me. I did write alot of stories, poems and songs. Infact I still kept my song books till this day. I still love writing but you know, I'm a designer now not a journalist lol so that kind of makes it harder to venture into this field. I don't necessarily like writing about news and stuff it's more to casual writing like maybe get my own column in the papers or write a book or something like that. I just feel like I have alot to say but I don't talk alot of heart to heart things to anyone so all these things remain buried in me. I don't mean like I have an issue and I have to emo it out to someone lol I just have alot of theories about life and what I think of it or just some random thoughts... I know I'm weird like that ha!


Another one of my passions is ofcourse in the field of arts and design. Creativity is such a powerful thing one could ever possess. So if you have it, don't ever second guess yourself for venturing into this field. Now, when we talk about design, I assume alot of people think I love photoshopping so so so much lol but the truth is, not really. I used to love it when I was in highschool because it was new to me but as I started getting my hands on more softwares, Photoshop became something less exciting for me. I still love it though because it's great to edit your stuff and I still need it for the most part of my design works. But there's just so much more then that. Honestly, I really love 3D animation and video production alot. As a Digital Art student these were the two things I was most excited to learn but unfortunately.... I think I rather not say. 


I did try really hard to learn 3D. It wasn't easy for me at first. I failed multiple times and well eventually I got to a point I was satisfied with my outcome but still... that's not where I plan to stop. I've seen far better works than mine and there's just no reason for me to feel proud of my work yet. I recently started modeling characters. It's something i've always wanted to do but I had to learn the basics of 3D first like setting up the scene so thats why I learned interior and exterior scenes otherwise where would my character live! lol


As for video, sad to say I don't really have the equipment for it but I do have some ideas to do this using what I have now... iPod and my DSLR lol. not much but you know baby steps can take you a really long way. I was thinking of doing something cool this sem break using characters and making a video. I haven't thought of it yet but hopefully it's successful. I also have an ongoing project for myself which has something to do with my characters. So i'm not just building them based on nothing, they are a work in progress... modelling them is only 10% of it. I'll explain more of that on my other blog which is my portfolio blog. 


Some people ask me why am I so free to do this. The thing is yeah I'm kinda free this sem but no, it's just something I've wanted to do for the longest time and I finally have the time, equipments and skill to do so. Besides, alot of designers keep themselves busy with their own projects. You can build up your portfolio, gain new knowledge, and improve yourself doing this. I don't believe in college assignments to be honest. They are just a stepping stone for us but the rest is up to us to learn and take the lead. If you have a passion for something then go for it. Another reason why I'm doing this is also because... I'm graduating soon and suddenly it came to my realization that I don't know anything about digital arts. My college didn't provide me with much digital lessons mostly it was more to graphic design... which is not what I want to do. So, how on earth am I supposed to get a job as a digital artist? That's the question that seriously got me thinking. 


This is a really long post but I haven't been blogging in ages so it's alright I guess. The whole point of this post was to tell everyone that if you have a passion for something, don't let it go. You only live once so why not just achieve what you want in this lifetime. 

Friday, January 21, 2011

Birthday...

6 days ago, I turned 21... and alot of things will be different from now. Well, not really because I had everything, all the freedom and decisions so turning 21 is just something legal by the world's standards. Anyways, this year I had one wish... no presents lol... but I ended up getting ALOT... so thanks everyone for coming to my party and the gifts... The reason why I wished for no presents this year is because I had everything I need and want already and there was no need to ask for more. Also all my friends are still in school and the year just started it's not very nice to burden them for a gift why not let them buy something they like for themselves instead, friendship is not measured by what you give someone, it's the thought that matters. I also felt like turning 21 was a very sentimental thing to me and this means I have to grow up so why not instead of gifts for myself, why don't people wish for giving all this good stuff to people who aren't as fortunate as you are. Maybe next year I would do that. This year got me thinking about birthdays and what does it mean. Maybe this is a sign of old age because I'm obviously thinking to far =) but... to me birthday is a celebration, how long you lived in this world. 21 years, that's pretty long considering it's been two decades already. Poor old parents had been raising you from that puny little infant till you're finally an adult. Sometimes, all we really need to do is just sit back and think about how far have we came into this world, all the experiences and memories. That's what makes us an individual. So this number, 21... it just means I'm an adult and I need to think wisely and start my own life. I guess you can say I'm quite proud of myself because I've learnt to not be dependent on my parents too much. I try to solve most of the things myself and if I have no clue how to, I would just seek advice from my mum. I've learn to live on my own with very little budget and I never ask them for anything. So sometimes, I do end up being broke but it's not because I'm overspending or I don't know how to save, it's just that I'm taking care of my own life with very minimal help from parents. It's save to say that everything I own is from my own money even the clothes on my body to my daily needs. Because of this, I just felt like my parents did a good job in raising me up. Maybe to some people, they would feel like their parents don't love them for not buying them anything but for me, this is a good thing and I would definitely teach my kids this next time otherwise I would DIE... lol...In the end of the day, a birthday is just a day you were born into this world. Be happy to live another year and share it with the one's you love. This would be one of the fondest memory you could take with you forever. 

Friday, March 5, 2010

The Longest Rant

I haven't written here in like ages because I've been super duper busy with school. OMG!!! today it's finally over...off you go short sem and off you GO! 2D3D!!!!!!! I hate this class so damn much. This sem i had art history and 2D3D. ok, i've never liked learning history but art history seemed so much fun. I enjoyed it very much and 2D3D the subject that my other friends say its stressful but fun proves to be SO-Not-FUN at all. That's because it's not the same lec. This subject has been taken over by another lec. I hate this class and I hate everything about it. I never enjoyed a single class. I never enjoyed the assignments. I never enjoyed spending so much for this stupid class. Here's my opinion, it's a waste of my time, my money and my effort. YES my effort!!!!!!!!! From day one till now, I don't know how many things I have to keep redo-ing because the lec is a perfectionist noob. No words can describe how much i hate it and how angry i get whenever this class comes around. It sucks....in my whole life, i've never faced so much stress and hyper tension like this class while doing my finals. this whole week had been a nightmare!! Literally. I havent got much sleep. Infact last night I stayed in college from 9am till 9pm. and i came home did my work till like 5.30 and got an hour sleep, the other 30mins i had before my alarm rang, was just me....unable to sleep anymore. Im so stressed that this whole week, i have nightmares everytime I sleep and not just one a night, but a few. I keep waking up. some of them are kinda stupid but theres a few that i know i feel really scared just that i cant remember. one whole week nightmare! wtf! hyper tension!!! sometimes i would feel so sleepy while driving, which is why i kinda drive slowly these few days because im scared if i drive fast, i might get into an accident. I cant really breathe properly cause my chest feels heavy like something is blocking me, something heavy is on my chest, so because of that i get really tired very easily. and and....ive been having stomach problems especially digestive problems because i just feel like throwing up everytime i eat something and i don't have appetite. I just eat coz i can sometimes im hungry, yes but after a few mouths, i dont feel like eating no more. my brain hurts all the time...arghhhhhhhhhhhh you see the level of stress is just crazyyyy. i need air to breathe. i need some space. i need some rest. i have to be honest, i did expected alot from myself this sem. I wanted to get A's for both subject. It's my 6th sem. It's time to get serious. And I have to have a strong portfolio because I have dreams and ambitions that can seem a little too over achieving but for now, my studies are my priority. But i wasnt pushing myself too hard, its the damn class that is making me stressed out like hell. despite history exam we had to memorize alot of things, i definitely felt the stress but i wasnt like angry or anything. but this 2d3d omg.........f f f f f!!! thats how it is....today was the final presentation and i was so damn nervous. i havent felt nervous for presentations in the longest time but today i was nervous like hell...worst then my first time presenting..idk y either...i tink its partly because of the coffee on an empty stomach thingy...i made me shaky and weird all morning lol...first time i was so defensive for my presentation becoz of the lec tat really piss me off at certain point till my nervous disappeared. she forgot what i  presented and asked stupid questions and said i didnt achieve this and that. im so pissed of. Dont mess with me when i dont have enough sleep and been working like a mad dog....i dont appreciate this kind of bullshit. seriously, i know im always happy happy, smiling even when times are bad but...when things tat ive worked so hard for has been accused of some false things i would not take it. i would not take hypocrites aswell. i dont care who you are, what you do or whatever, but you gotta know there is a limit when you start messing with me...so take that.....uhhh im so angry still....but i dont wanna make this any longer n repeat the same story......i hope ill nvr hav to see tat lec again.....tats alll!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Songs I'm Lovin'



I lovvvve lovvvve loveeee this guy's music...all of them....and I think he is cute =)


Friday, February 12, 2010

Valentine's Day is here....soon

I honestly don't know why am I so excited when I'm single and date-less...lol....But I'm just having a good day today despite feeling over-the-top angry throughout class and even while shopping thanks to lame customer service...But the minute I got home, I felt so so so good, I don't know why either =.= This year I'd go back to my lonely Valentine routine....Last year was the first time celebrating it...(Yeah...no one believes this but yeah it's true people) But it's not about celebrating and stuff...but it's also ..well it WAS a day that meant something to me and my ex...anniversary much? oh well...I'm over him now...that's for sure....but that doesn't mean I should erase everything right? Most people mistaken getting over for erasing...Seriously, that person was in your life and was part of it. There's nothing wrong with remembering the good times and stuff as long as you're not gonna end up crying for a day!! But like I said, I'm OVEEERRR it...so so so OVER....This is the thing with relationships, they come and they go...sometimes they hurt, sometimes they make you feel good...Not that I'm saying all relationships don't last...Nooo....I'm just saying that's the nature of it. Just coz you're with someone doesn't mean he/she is THE ONE...at the same time, there's nothing wrong with feeling badly hurt when things don't work out...we are human after all....But this year, although I'm single and so available like idk what....but thanks to CNY I'll have comfort food all day and night....yeah...my grandma will be my Valentine this year....<3

Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Valentine's Day to everyone =)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

The Jen-Khoo Song's

Here's some songs that reminds me of YOU....coz you're crazy when the songs comes on!!!!!!! <3

  • Knock You Down- Keri Hilson
  • Jaiho!- Pussycat Dolls
  • Taking Back My Love- Enrique Iglesias 

whenever these songs play, no doubt it reminds me of you!
Love you Amaness
XOXO


Friday, February 5, 2010

To Jen Khoo, with Love


To Jen Khoo/ My beloved AMA

                     So the day has finally arrived. Time for you to pack your bags and leave for New Zealand.  22-year old Ama of mine has finally spread her wings to greener pastures leaving behind 3 children and a grandson. LOL! Anyways, I know I've already written you a card but you are too special so you deserve a place in my blog. =)

                     It's not like we've known each other for years. Only knew you during Visual Concept and before I knew it, we were on a road trip together and you became my grandma. But through these few months, It's been a close relationship that we had. Although we may not spend alot of time with each other since this year but still, never felt separated from you because we shared alot of good times together.

                 Penang will definitely miss having you around that's for sure. Especially Roxy and Starbucks. They are going to miss seeing you entering their shop lol. But most importantly, I will miss having you around. You always make people laugh and smile all day at your craziness. So go ahead and make New Zealand-ers and all the cows there laugh and smile with you aswell.

             I honestly feel bad I couldn't get the chance to see you before you leave. Time isn't on our side, it seems. But you going only a thousand million miles away isn't going to stop us from remembering each other and talk. So you better keep in touch with me ob MSN and FB. Don't just online to say ollor....but say Hi, I miss you Divya. =)

           Thanks for always being a nice nice friend to me and thanks for making my day whenever I wasn't feeling good. Yeah, you may not know that but sometimes your character and your craziness can really make someone forget their problems and just laugh with you. So no matter what you do, don't ever stay SANE!!!!!

            Well, sorry if so far, I've offended you or said anything that hurt you. I didn't mean anything as you know I like to joke like Luiz but sometimes I feel it could be a little too harsh but as always there's no real meaning behind it. I just love teasing you that's all. Sorry for calling you old lady lol...now alot of people calling me that but to tell you the truth, you are not that old... =) 

        22 still very very young so enjoy yourself in NZ....sure, you're there for your studies but remember life is too short so enjoy it. Try new things, meet new people, experience the NZ life and tell us all about it. Get me a souvenir when you come back!!! LOL jk....However, do not over enjoy till forget about the main reason why you're there. Learn as much as you can over there and do the best you can because we all want you to be successful and happy too in the future. If you feel like working there and settling down there, then by all means....go ahead. Just do what you feel is best for you.

        But then again......you're 22 d...lol...can get married in few years time liao....so faster find amo bf...then dont forget to intro to us..we are your family!! hehe....then when you kahwin, we all can go visit NZ..yipeee!!!!! =)

       Whenever you're lonely or down, maybe the first few weeks you might feel homesick, just remember we are all here for you. If you feel like you need help, never hesitate to ask. You can always share your problems and experiences with us despite the distance. 

      But all that matter is that you keep that happy face and always look forward to a brighter better day ahead of you. May God bless you always. You'll always be in our prayers and I will always always love love you very berry much and will be missing you when you're gone.

So take care and have a safe flight and hope everything works out for you over there. 

With Love,

Divya Khoo