Posts
World Series Game 5
1 year ago
Saturday, February 19, 2011
There's always an ending to every start...
In about three weeks time, I would be finally graduating from college. I've been waiting for this moment for three years already but now that it's so close to the finish line, it's like I wished time would go into a stand still just for awhile. I think it happens to alot of people when their life is about to change. Yeap, after this three weeks, my life would change forever. It's time to step into the real-world and grow up as an adult. It's actually scary to know that everything will be on you now and all the responsibility that's about to fall on you. I have a big problem now, where am I supposed to work? I hope to find a proper company where I enjoy doing what I do there so that I would work in peace. Unfortunately, in Penang there's not much options for a digital student like me. Mostly graphic design and that's not what I'm passionate about doing. I might go into video production to see what's it like. I like video and 3D but ofcourse my animation and 3D skill isn't at all near to being qualified for the job. I still have to work on that. My mum feels like I should continue studying after working a few months or a year or something but personally, I'm just sick of studying. It's not that I'm lazy or anything, it's just that I don't want to waste my money again on some college. Everything I know about design, I learned it by myself and what college thought me was basically... nothing. So that really disappointed me and just killed every bit of passion to continue studying again. I just wanna graduate and see where life takes me. It's all about your portfolio. Ofcourse I'm not denying pursuing your studies will get you a better position but seriously for now, I can't even imagine myself going back to college and doing this same thing over and over again besides, I don't have that much financial support to do it. Don't even get me started on scholarships. So my plan is to work hard and build up my portfolio and I would see how the market goes, if a degree is needed then I might pursue it probably in animation or video production. I believe that a certificate isn't everything to ensure a brighter future. There are some people who had never got an education and still because of their perseverance and diligence they manage to be somebody in this world. This days, the number of people with a degree in their hands is like throwing a stone at some random stranger on the street and probably 9 our of 10 of them are degree holders. It's just a piece of paper. What determines who is more successful then the other is your hard work and your talent. I'm not saying that pursuing your studies is a waste of time and money, it just depends. If you are not passionate about what you are studying then why pursue? Or if you can't pursue because you don't have the chance then don't feel like your world has ended. There's always a way to turn the bad to good if you just believe in yourself and trust in what you're doing.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
I can still see my last Valentine post here, can't believe a year has already past. Judging from my last Valentine post, I was single and valentine-less haha, I don't remember what I did on that day either. But this year, happy to say, I'm not single. So what's this deal about Valentine? Do we really need a bouquet of roses? fancy dinner? or your date serenading a song for you? Honestly, whatever is it you guys want to do it's totally fine just aslong as you have each other. I guess that's the best part of having a partner, you're never alone. He/she is your bestfriend and you guys can do all the craziest thing in this world and not be afraid coz you have each other. Your partner is more than just a companion but he/she is also a person who plays a big role in your life as you age. They were there when some great things happened to you and also the sad moments too ofcourse. It's also nice to have someone who will always care for you and treat you special then the rest. Ofcourse it's even better when your partner grows old with you and even starts a whole new life with you. So if you ask me, what's love? I wouldn't know how to answer you but what I can say is when you feel it, you will just know it. As cheesy as it sounds. To be honest, I'm happier being in a relationship then being single. Some people are more comfortable being single but that's just how it is. We are all different. I like the feeling of having someone special. That's doesn't make me desperate for a relationship or anything, I'm just saying that's how I prefer to be ofcourse provided if I have the right man for the job. Anyways, being single isn't too bad aswell. Don't feel sad if you're date-less this Valentines. Your time will come someday. So don't take it so seriously or get upset =) So anyways, what's my plans this year? I don't really know. I don't really care either. I love my hubby and it's literally Valentine's day everyday for us. We have a good relationship and that's all that matters. Alot of our love life is kept private and behind the scenes so not many people know what's really going on between us sometimes. I guess that's what you get for living in your own bubble and that's what makes it special and sweet. I guess we will probably be curling up and watching a good movie together. =) I don't expect much , I just expect alot of TLC that lasts forever. So hope everyone has a great Valentines coming up and to those who are date-less, just have fun with friends or family or ignore this day and don't get pressured by it.
Happy Valentine's Day <3
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Mid-life Crisis
*sigh* Has it ever occurred to you that maybe something is missing in your life? There's something you wished you knew what was it that's bugging you? Or if you feel like all the fun is sucked out and life is a big yawn now? That's when you know you've hit mid-life crisis! =) It doesn't just happen to people around their 30's or 40's anymore, it just happens to anyone who feels it. It's a kind of depression but in a subtle way. This is not an EMO post by the way. I don't do emo crap. Emo is so over-rated. As human's we still have our own feelings whether it's happy , sad or angry. So don't mistaken all sad feelings for emo. If I'm sad about someone that just passed away , that does not make me emo. Back to topic. Lately for the past few months, i realized something has been bugging me deeply but I cant figure out what is it. At first I thought it's just PMS (us girls...) but no... and then I started thinking maybe it's my appearance. So I went on wanting to be thin and going on and on about a diet. But no... then I thought maybe it's my design skill. I'm almost graduating and I still suck and I don't know much about anything. So I tried to learn and i got quite far into things and guess what... that's not it either. It just kills me coz I don't know what going on and nobody noticed I was going through a weird phase. So then it hit me, for the past few weeks, I finally knew what was wrong with me. I just missed my old life. I missed all the fun I had and now everything is becoming a bore and all I do is sit at home, assignments, college and PC. I turned 21 and this is what I have become. In fact, I turned 18 and this is what I've become. A lifeless, dull, old lady... It's depressing really lol. All these while I thought I could just lie to myself and pretend that I dont miss a single bit of my night life or whatever fun I used to have when i was young. I told myself I'm grown up now and those were my childish days but who am I kidding. I did miss it and I'm still young to enjoy it. The fun can't last forever so while you're still young might aswell enjoy all you can't before it's too late. I'm not the kind who like daylight or goes out during the day much, im more of a night time person. I never was a day person you can tell from the time i wake up that im not. The night time is just exciting and fun for me and that's the time I feel awake and energized. Although alot of people think it's dangerous. No doubt. Danger is everywhere. Morning, Afternoon, Evening, Night... dangerous things happen all the time its just fate and how we look after ourselves that keeps us save. If you don't do stupid things that could danger yourself thus you would be safe. Anyways, I really hope I can get my life back. I hate feeling trapped in my own body. No one is locking me now but it's just me and I didnt realized that I locked myself up till now. I want all the fun I used to have as a teenager. I don't wanna rot away my 20's and look back when im old and say that's how i spent my 20's, in my room infront of my computer. That's sad... I don't expect everyone to understand what's this phase im going through because unless you went through this or you are going through this, then you would fully understand what im feeling. My lifestyle right now has eaten up a huge part of my living so end up I don't like how i look or feel about myself anymore because i stopped caring and i stopped trying. I went into what we call "the comfort zone" and that's a zone you do not wanna be in when you're still young and kicking. It's still new years, technically... so I hope things would change and maybe I would change too. Hopefully i could get back my youth as soon as possible. By the way, I'm not the kind who likes to public out my feelings coz i feel they are so private but for just this one time, I needed to get everything out of my system coz I feel it's gonna make me better for abit. So no judging XD
