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Friday, March 5, 2010

The Longest Rant

I haven't written here in like ages because I've been super duper busy with school. OMG!!! today it's finally over...off you go short sem and off you GO! 2D3D!!!!!!! I hate this class so damn much. This sem i had art history and 2D3D. ok, i've never liked learning history but art history seemed so much fun. I enjoyed it very much and 2D3D the subject that my other friends say its stressful but fun proves to be SO-Not-FUN at all. That's because it's not the same lec. This subject has been taken over by another lec. I hate this class and I hate everything about it. I never enjoyed a single class. I never enjoyed the assignments. I never enjoyed spending so much for this stupid class. Here's my opinion, it's a waste of my time, my money and my effort. YES my effort!!!!!!!!! From day one till now, I don't know how many things I have to keep redo-ing because the lec is a perfectionist noob. No words can describe how much i hate it and how angry i get whenever this class comes around. It sucks....in my whole life, i've never faced so much stress and hyper tension like this class while doing my finals. this whole week had been a nightmare!! Literally. I havent got much sleep. Infact last night I stayed in college from 9am till 9pm. and i came home did my work till like 5.30 and got an hour sleep, the other 30mins i had before my alarm rang, was just me....unable to sleep anymore. Im so stressed that this whole week, i have nightmares everytime I sleep and not just one a night, but a few. I keep waking up. some of them are kinda stupid but theres a few that i know i feel really scared just that i cant remember. one whole week nightmare! wtf! hyper tension!!! sometimes i would feel so sleepy while driving, which is why i kinda drive slowly these few days because im scared if i drive fast, i might get into an accident. I cant really breathe properly cause my chest feels heavy like something is blocking me, something heavy is on my chest, so because of that i get really tired very easily. and and....ive been having stomach problems especially digestive problems because i just feel like throwing up everytime i eat something and i don't have appetite. I just eat coz i can sometimes im hungry, yes but after a few mouths, i dont feel like eating no more. my brain hurts all the time...arghhhhhhhhhhhh you see the level of stress is just crazyyyy. i need air to breathe. i need some space. i need some rest. i have to be honest, i did expected alot from myself this sem. I wanted to get A's for both subject. It's my 6th sem. It's time to get serious. And I have to have a strong portfolio because I have dreams and ambitions that can seem a little too over achieving but for now, my studies are my priority. But i wasnt pushing myself too hard, its the damn class that is making me stressed out like hell. despite history exam we had to memorize alot of things, i definitely felt the stress but i wasnt like angry or anything. but this 2d3d omg.........f f f f f!!! thats how it is....today was the final presentation and i was so damn nervous. i havent felt nervous for presentations in the longest time but today i was nervous like hell...worst then my first time presenting..idk y either...i tink its partly because of the coffee on an empty stomach thingy...i made me shaky and weird all morning lol...first time i was so defensive for my presentation becoz of the lec tat really piss me off at certain point till my nervous disappeared. she forgot what i  presented and asked stupid questions and said i didnt achieve this and that. im so pissed of. Dont mess with me when i dont have enough sleep and been working like a mad dog....i dont appreciate this kind of bullshit. seriously, i know im always happy happy, smiling even when times are bad but...when things tat ive worked so hard for has been accused of some false things i would not take it. i would not take hypocrites aswell. i dont care who you are, what you do or whatever, but you gotta know there is a limit when you start messing with me...so take that.....uhhh im so angry still....but i dont wanna make this any longer n repeat the same story......i hope ill nvr hav to see tat lec again.....tats alll!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!